General's Escapade
by LadyAlambiel
Summary: The only problem with the General's escapade was the timing.


Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.

Summary: The only problem with the General's escapade was the timing.

A/N: This is part of my _A Light in the Darkness_ universe. Enjoy!

**General's Escapade**

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It was the middle of the night for all intents and purposes, so why was I trudging through the woods to find the glade Oreius and I usually spar in? Because the Kentauri shook me awake, and as soon as he decided I was semi-capable of registering what was happening, he briskly ordered me (or at least Dame Sepphora) to meet him there for some extra sparring. I tripped over an exposed root and nearly fell face-first into the dirt. I hate Oreius.

The Kentauri may enjoy staying up late, but I had had a very tiring week and not nearly enough sleep to be appreciative of this wake up call. I finally made my way to the clearing and immediately hissed and threw both arms in front of my face as torchlight blinded me. My night vision was completely ruined. I grumbled and hissed, stamping one foot (Oreius has teased me that I am showing my Centaur heritage when I do that) as I snarled under my breath, "Razzinflabbin light! No good chizzdernashing razzin my eyes!"

I heard a huff of amusement from somewhere just in front of me and slightly to my right. I didn't even think. I just balled up my fist and struck out. My fist hit hard muscle, but I still heard a very satisfying oof. I peeked over my arm and saw the Kentauri rubbing at his sternum. "You could have warned me then I wouldn't have been blinded and why for the love of all that is good in this world did you insist I come out here?"

There was a definite smirk playing around the corners of his mouth before Oreius forced me to lower my arm completely as he stated in the most matter of fact way, "So we may spar, sweet."

I glared at him, "It's third hour! I was tied up in that mess with the ambassadors until second hour! I haven't even had a full hour's worth of sleep. And, do you think that by calling me 'sweet' you will achieve your goal of having a sparring match in the dead of night? Because I highly disagree with the odds of that working out well for you."

He flicked his tail as he walked around me and slowly circled the lit glade, "You are here, Alambiel. I even brought Chrysaor and your twin knives for you. And I lit the area so you may see…unless, of course, you would have preferred sparring in the dark and tripping over another root."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I will stab you."

He _chuckled_. I glared at him as I belted on the back harness for my knives and opted to simply hold Chrysaor (still in its sheath for now) in my left hand. Why exactly do I get the Centaur who only wants to show his sense of humor when it's really annoying and in the middle of the night? Why? Revenge for playing pranks on him in the middle of the day? Nope, couldn't be that. I watched Oreius for a moment (or maybe it was a very long moment…I was tired and really just wanted to go back to bed…okay, okay, the idea of throwing something at the Kentauri was really appealing too) but he made no move to unsheathe any of his swords. Instead, he simply charged.

My right hand tightened around Chrysaor's hilt and pulled, which _should_ have caused the sword to smoothly release from the sheath, but it didn't. I pulled again. Chrysaor didn't budge. Oreius was still charging and he was a _lot _closer than he had been a moment ago. I threw Chrysaor at him. He caught it then tossed it to the side. I didn't see where my sword landed. I was too busy attempting to unsheathe my knives, attempting and failing. They wouldn't budge. I looked up just in time for Oreius to tackle me. There is a difference between how Oreius tackles me and how he tackles oh everyone else he spars with… Oreius has decided that to tackle me he should pick me up, stop, then he essentially drops to the ground, taking me with him since I'm about as stuck as one can get, but he always makes sure I hit the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of me.

As it was, as soon as I could breathe, I was too torn between anger and utter shock to even protest that he tackled me again. Utter disbelief is what won out as I gasped, "You cheated!"

He smirked and a very smug look crossed his face but all he growled was for me to yield. Oh so, we were still "sparring." Well, if he wanted to play by a more creative set of rules, I couldn't not accommodate him (it helped that I was better at playing with a more creative interpretation of the rules than he was). Our faces were only inches apart. I kissed him and Oreius froze. Ha, shocked him. I broke the kiss before he could decide how to react then rolled under his arm and away…taking one of his one-handed swords with me. I grinned as I held his sword against the Kentauri's neck. He had no choice but to raise one hand and signal his defeat. "I yield. That was an interesting move."

Handing back his sword, I smirked, "Well, that particular move is guaranteed to work." I rather enjoyed the way Oreius' eyebrows shot up at my comment but I immediately walked away under the pretense of being concerned with finding Chrysaor. Oreius had tossed it near one of the torches and, in the torchlight, I saw the fine wire he'd used to lock Chrysaor into its sheath. Unbuckling my knives, I held them up and the torchlight revealed that they were also locked into their sheaths. I looked over my shoulder. Oreius was watching me with a weird look on his face and I nearly laughed because I had a feeling he was still trying to figure out exactly what I had meant with my comment about the kiss being a guaranteed distraction. Instead, I held up Chrysaor and shouted, "Oreius! I can't believe you tampered with my blades. That is blatant cheating and you kick up such a fuss when something happens in the armory that I am shocked you stooped to this level."

Oreius blinked then he chuckled, "We are not in the armory and your reaction was quite amusing. Both times."

"I hate you."

He laughed.

Setting my useless, permanently sheathed (for the moment at least) weapons down, I crossed my arms. "Oreius, clearly we need to resume the discussions on what a real joke and/or prank is because you seem to be under the impression that waking me up at third hour and forcing me to join you in a sparring match, a rigged sparring match mind, is a good joke."

"It is. I found it very satisfactory."

"Well, you need help and I should have used a different method than the kissing move to distract you."

I watched the amused expression change again to that weird look from earlier as the Kentauri moved closer and asked quietly, "How did you know that method would work? How many times have you used it that you would know it was guaranteed?" Oh yes, he was definitely wondering just what had happened to force me to use a kiss as a distraction _and_ why hadn't that been in any of my reports.

I was bad to devil him like that, but…he woke me up and I was sleep-deprived, so he brought it on himself. I turned away, lifting my fingers to just touch my lips (yes, I was really hiding a smirk), before I replied, "I…give me a minute to think about it." I waited a moment then started muttering, "Let's see if I count all the times I've done it, including tonight, that would bring me up to a total of using a kiss to distract my opponent exactly…one time."

Oreius didn't reply, but I didn't even have the chance to look over my shoulder before he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back against him (also lifting me so my feet were dangling in the air). He breathed in my ear, "You are a wicked little minx to torment me that way."

I snickered. "Of course, but you deserved it for tormenting _me_ with this ridiculous escapade of yours."

He kissed my cheek then lowered me so my feet were no longer dangling above the ground. "But, it was a good escapade and a clever prank on my part."

I immediately turned around and clasped my hands behind his neck, "Oreius, if I admit it was clever and probably very funny for you, especially with your sense of humor, will you promise to never do that to me again?"

"No."

Figured. "Okay, how about you at least agree not to ever roust me out of my bed at third hour again?"

"It is possible that I may be able to accommodate your request."

I narrowed my eyes at him then shook my head. "What can I say? I'm desperate, so I'll take it." He chuckled.

My eyelids were going to need spears to hold them open if I wasn't careful to keep moving, so I followed Oreius as he went about dousing the torches. As we approached the last torch, Oreius reached back and took my hand, pulling me forward a couple steps so we were walking hand in hand. "The only reason your kiss worked as a distraction was because I am not accustomed to my sparring partners resorting to kissing as a tactical means."

I looked at him and deadpanned, "I cannot begin to describe how thankful I am to hear that, Oreius."

He shook his head and tapped my nose. "Cheeky little minx. What I meant, Alambiel, is that the next time you attempt to distract me with a kiss during a sparring match, you will not find yourself very successful." He lifted my sleep braid and tugged on it gently as he added in a very soft tone, "However, I suppose it would be best if I waited until after we marry to figure out what to counter your distraction with…"

Oreius trailed off as he released my braid and I didn't give him the chance to say anything else as I leaned toward him and whispered, "Oreius, that's not the proposal, is it?"

He laughed again (if I weren't quite so sleep-deprived, I'd really be enjoying the fact that he wasn't bothering to hide his sense of humor) then tilted my chin up. "No, Alambiel, that is not my proposal. When I propose, my love, not only will you be very impressed but you won't be able to refuse."

"Oreius, are you drawing up battle plans for your proposal?"

He didn't answer and I snickered, "You are!"

"I would not say that nor would I call plans I might make for matters off the battlefield 'battle plans.'"

I just laughed again. If I weren't so tired, maybe it wouldn't be so funny. But I know for a fact that if I weren't so tired, I could have come up with some really good ways to tease him about proposal battle plans. Oreius doused the last torch and my night vision was still pretty useless, so I didn't protest when Oreius pulled me back to the middle of the glade. We sat for a while, he was watching the stars, I was busy trying not to nod off with debatable success.

Resting my head on his shoulder, I yawned, "Next time you want to go off and play at sparring, can we schedule this for a time when I'm not trying to sleep?"

His shoulder shook as he laughed and I felt him press a kiss to my hair. "Perhaps." That wasn't what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear a "yes, of course, I will behave myself and resist the urge to come roust you out of bed at some ungodly hour just because my sense of humor keeps weird hours." That's not unreasonable, is it? I don't think so.

Oreius shifted, waking me up out of the light doze I'd slipped into again, and whispered, "What time are you supposed to meet with the ambassadors again?"

I yawned, "Tenth hour and it's going to take all day too." And I had to show up for training at sixth hour. Maybe Oreius would let me out of it…

Apparently I fell asleep after that or was so close to sleeping that I didn't remember what happened. All I know is I opened my eyes and jerked upright to find myself in my bed with Ptah's heavy bulk pinning my feet. Ptah raised his head and yawned, showing his huge teeth, "You were sleepwalking last night. The General brought you back and has instructed that you be allowed to sleep until ninth hour."

I was? He did? "What time is it now?"

"Almost seventh hour."

Okay, he has lousy timing when it comes to his escapades, but the Kentauri does know how to be sweet. Even if it's just by making up for a middle of the night escapade by fixing it so I can sleep until I absolutely have to get up to deal with ambassadors. I'll give him a kiss at the next opportunity. Until then, I simply curled back up under the covers. Before sleep once again claimed me, I had one final thought: _If Oreius wakes me up at three in the morning again, I will throw something heavy at him._

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**A/N: Please Read and Review! I've been informed that more Kat and more KnockOut fluff is needed. So how's this for a nice end of the year send-out? Requests or ideas? Let me know in a review or via PM. **


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